


I'm Good

by BipSaj



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Adora Has Issues (She-Ra), Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Adora (She-Ra), My First Fanfic, Soft Catra (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BipSaj/pseuds/BipSaj
Summary: I’ve never written fan fiction, so idk what this is but here we go. Adora is brave, compassionate, true to her values, and… having a hard time adjusting to life without the Horde.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 91





	1. The Dust Settles, or I Dream of Peace

**Author's Note:**

> This is directly after Prime is defeated, then jumps weeks ahead for the 'Fright Zone Festival'. She-Ra’s vision at the Heart of Etheria is used but it’s not that far in the future.

One would’ve thought that since Prime was defeated, Adora would be happy. She found her greatest superpower, love, and it should’ve flown from her endlessly now that the Best Friend Squad was complete with Catra. Still, something felt…wrong. All this work, her relationships, her new home at Bright Moon (why did she still consider it “new”?), her life as She-Ra, seemed diminished. For the first time ever, the Horde was truly gone.

Adora never realized how much she relied on the Horde’s presence in her life. Because of them, she found her best friends. Because of them, she learned skills necessary to fight as She-Ra. The Horde even gave her the woman she lov--

“Hey, Adora.” Catra comes up behind Adora and grabs her hand.

“Catra,” the taller girl exhales with a smile. Although Catra’s presence still surprised Adora sometimes, it was usually always calming. Having her best friend back, who was also committed to being better, made up for the years of fighting. Not only were they best friends, they were now…lovers? They hadn’t quite talked about that kiss at the heart of Etheria yet, but both knew that their love was different; stronger than before. Watching Catra grow and admit she was wrong made Adora happier than she ever imagined it would. But as Adora rests her head on Catra’s own, she is quickly reminded of Horde Prime’s work by the lack of fluff that used to be there. She loved Catra’s short hair, she loved every version of Catra, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept that Prime made her shave her head. That he wanted her to, as much as possible, look like a clone. It was even more difficult for Adora to admit that she almost lost Catra for good. And the fact that the Horde is still bothering her, even as she watches the sun set over the edge of the Whispering Woods causes Adora to pick up her head.

“Hey, you ok?” Catra asks, giving Adora’s hand a gentle squeeze.

For a moment, Adora is speechless. On one hand, she’s absolutely relieved. She remembers that Prime is gone, the air glows with magic, and next to her stands the most beautiful feline she knows. But on the other hand, she’s terrified. Not because Prime might come back, but because she doesn’t know who or what will take his place. Something will, something has to. _Never let your guard down_. Life without the Horde is unfamiliar. To Adora, it’s unconsciously as frightening as fighting her friends.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she lies. “Just looking at the Whispering Woods.”

Catra nuzzles her nose against Adora’s shoulder. She follows Adora’s gaze, their hands entwined. Terror grips Adora’s heart. _How long will this last?_ she thinks. She pulls Catra into an embrace, closing the distance between their faces, hands on her neck and waist. “It’s over. He’s gone,” she says, unsuccessfully speaking her fears out of existence.

“Good riddance.” Catra replies. She pulls the concerned girl even closer, knowing that their future won’t be as easy a fix as Adora wants it to be.

***

It takes a while for things to settle on Etheria. There are parties, dinners, and festivals in every kingdom as each princess hosts a different celebration in honor of their victory and reconstruction. Adora attends all of them, sometimes with Catra, but often without. Catra did do some terrible things, and while the people of Etheria are forgiving, they don’t forget easily. Tonight’s gala is in Scorpia’s reclaimed Fright Zone though, and all of the Best Friend Squad is expected.

The atmosphere is exceedingly cheery as the squad in Bright Moon get dressed. Catra dons a charming red blazer, white and gold overcoat hanging from her shoulder. She runs into Adora’s room, Glimmer in close pursuit, and stops as she sees Adora clad in a stunning white gown with gold sleeves, a gold pin clasping the center of an elegant train. Her hair pools over her shoulders, held back by her gleaming tiara. Catra’s face breaks into a wide smile and she runs around Adora, Glimmer right behind her.

“Just let me brush it!” Glimmer shrieks, laughter bouncing off the walls.

“No!” Catra yelps. “Don’t let her touch me, she’s going to torture me!”

“Do you always have to be this dramatic?”

Bow enters, wearing a tuxedo matching Glimmer’s dress. “Come on guys. If we’re late to Scorpia’s first ball, she’s going to kill us.”

“Fine!” says Glimmer, holding Bow close. “You’re off the hook. This time.”

Glimmer and Bow turn to leave, and Catra turns to Adora and extends her paw. “You coming?”

Adora’s seen this before, in her vision at the Heart of Etheria. Horde Prime said there would be no future, but here she is, living it. And instead of feeling accomplished about their success, Adora feels threatened. _Is this a sign of things to come?_ She doesn’t take Catra’s hand.

“Oh.” Catra retracts her arm and clears her throat in an attempt to hide her disappointment. “Should I get Glimmer?” she asks, her unruffled face succumbing to worry.

“No, it’s fine. I’m good.” Adora says starchily. She forces a thin smile and walks towards the door. “Let’s go.”


	2. Welcome to the Fright Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora returns to the Fright Zone and can't get Shadow Weaver out of her head.

Standing at the entrance of Scorpia’s castle in the Fright Zone 2.0, Adora examines the redecorated but callous place she once called home. Gone are the piles of junk metal, but nothing could change the steely roughness in the gray pipes or rid the place of the stifling scent of cured concrete. Even the surrounding barren land hasn’t changed, yet. _She-Ra will help heal this land,_ Adora thinks. Up ahead, Catra stands behind Bow and Glimmer. She turns around and waves for Adora to join them. Adora smiles and chooses to turn down a different corridor. She stops at the window where Shadow Weaver once told her she would be Force Captain. _Why_ _am I thinking about this? Shadow Weaver is dead. The Fright Zone has been returned to its rightful princess. What’s wrong with me?_

“Adora?” Glimmer emerges from the shadowy hall. “Catra told me you came this way. Are you ok?”

“Yep, I’m good. All good.” Adora’s response is quick, but not sharp. She sounds tired, or as if she’s removed from reality.

“The ballroom is beautiful; you should come see it! Scorpia did a fantastic job cleaning up uh, Horror Hall?”

“Yeah, I bet she did. It’s her ancestral home.”

Glimmer tries to coax Adora into coming to the party but Adora’s face remains unchanged. Stern crinkles line her forehead. Without acknowledging a word of what Glimmer has just said, Adora asks, “Hey, what’s the plan for the Fright Zone? I know She-Ra can bring life back to the barren landscape, and maybe Perfuma can help—”

“Adora, tonight is about celebrating the Fright Zone’s freedom! We can focus on healing the land tomorrow. Step by step, ok?” Glimmer rests a hand on Adora’s shoulder.

“Yeah I know, but tomorrow there might be a new problem, and—"

“ _Nothing_ can stop Etheria from thriving right now. We defeated Horde Prime! _You_ destroyed the Heart of Etheria. We can face anything else that comes our way, the way we’ve always done it. Together.”

Adora sighs. She wants to—she should—believe her friend. Instead, Adora’s head spins with thoughts once buried deep, _deep_ , down inside. Even worse, Shadow Weaver’s face right before she sacrificed herself plays on repeat in her head. _Is this not what you’ve wanted since_ _you were old enough to want anything?” Shadow Weaver asked. All of Etheria under your command? All fighting for the greater good? You fought the most powerful evil on the planet but now you’re the most powerful_ princess _of them all. You were always destined for greatness. I raised you for it. “You’re welcome…”_

Next to Adora, Glimmer continues to praise the Fright Zone Festival, but her concern for Adora is palpable.

“Adora, seriously, what is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

“It’s nothing, Glimmer,” Adora answers, quickly dismissing the question. “I’m good, I swear. Let’s go to the party, I want to see what you’ve been raving about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title inspired by Guns N' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"


	3. Force Captain She-Ra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An angry Adora/She-Ra walks away and Catra recalls the Fright Zone Festival.

Back at Bright Moon, Adora bursts into her room and slams the door. “UGHH!” she yells, punching the nearest wall. Catra opens the door.

“What the hell, Adora?”

“Don’t, Catra. Everything was fine until--”

“You call that fine? Wow, at least I’m acknowledging I’m messed up.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Adora snaps, blue pupils glowing through squinted eyes. Catra’s tail stiffens, her claws extend.

“Adora, calm down. All I’m saying is, I know I’ve hurt a lot of people, and it’s taking me a lot of time to work on myself. But you’re…you’ve hurt yourself, and now _that’s_ hurting other people.” Well, look at Catra being perceptive. _If Perfuma could see me now_ , she thinks and silently reminds herself to thank the princess for the meditation and therapy sessions. Her personal victory is short lived though, as Adora snarls back,

“Ho ho, so you’re blaming _me_? I never asked Lonnie for her opinion. Her and the rest of her… _Horde scum_ can rot in the Crimson Waste for all I care.”

Catra hisses as a familiar rush of anger courses through her veins. She loved Adora but this was taking it too far. The only person allowed to call anyone Horde scum was Glimmer, and even now it’s only used lightly.

“You were once _Horde scum_ yourself, Adora.” Catra spits back, calmly and quietly.

“Move,” says Adora, or She-Ra. Catra couldn’t tell which. The last time she’s seen She-Ra angry like this was when the sword was infected by the First Ones’ Artifact. But there was no infection, there was no sword, there was just…anger. Once upon a time Catra would’ve used Adora’s anger to ‘crush the rebellion’. But seeing Adora angry now, chest heaving and fists curled up into tight balls, just hurt Catra. She swore she would never let Adora go, but it wasn’t easy when she was being pushed away. _Is this what it felt like to be Adora all these years?_ Adora pushes past the cat and pulls the door off its hinges on her way out.

“Adora!” Catra yells while jumping away.

“WHAT?!” The blonde yells back. Turning around, she sees Catra’s defensive position and looks at the door in her hand. The blue in her eyes fade away.

“I need to be alone.” Adora says shakily. “I’m…sorry.” With that, she drops the oversized door and walks down the hall.

***

Catra lets out the breath she didn’t notice she was holding and walks to the window. On the way, she takes off her blazer and overcoat and changes into comfortable clothes. She replays the party in her head, searching for what got Adora so worked up. She remembers seeing Adora walk in the ballroom with Glimmer. She asked Adora to dance. They did, and Catra stared into Adora’s soft gray eyes as she dipped her the way she did at Princess Prom. Only this time, Catra’s ulterior motives were clearly sapphic and not at all manipulative. The song ended. Catra went to grab a drink and found Lonnie and Kyle devouring hors d’oeuvres while Adora went…to the restroom? To find Glimmer? Catra wanted to approach the ex-Horde members but things escalated faster than she expected. Adora was suddenly bolting for the exit; Catra thought she saw a tear run down the side of her face. She tried to stop Adora and Lonnie said something. Something so incredibly daft, even Catra couldn’t explain why she said it.

“Seriously, Adora? It’s not like you to run from a party. Then again, there isn’t anyone here for you to fight.”

Adora lost it. Pulling the sword of protection out of thin air, she transformed into She-Ra and pinned Lonnie down, sword at her neck. “Is this what you want, _cadet_?” the muscular girl demanded.

***

The sound of Glimmer’s teleport magic in the hall brings Catra back to reality.

“Woah.” Glimmer whispers, referring to the broken door. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know, Sparkles. I wish I knew what was going on in her head.” Catra brings her knees close to her chest and stares out at the empty woods below. The night had her all worked up, and not in a good way. At least she isn’t thinking about her own horrible deeds, right?

“We’ll find her, don’t worry.” Glimmer says reassuringly, joining Catra at the window.

Catra knows they’ll find her, but her worry isn’t going anywhere. Adora called Lonnie “cadet”, something only the Force Captain in her would do. No, that’s not right. _She-Ra_ called Lonnie, “cadet”, making the situation ever more dire. Catra was beyond scared for Adora, and it was beginning to show. In that moment, nothing could stop the pang of guilt that seized Catra’s chest. As much as she tried to forgive herself, Catra knew she was to blame for Horde Prime finding Etheria and for all the fighting that She-Ra, Adora, had experienced.

Bow appears at the broken door with a gasp. A look from Glimmer tells him everything he needs to know. The queen says goodnight to Catra, and hugs Bow tightly before turning towards their quarters. As Catra makes her way to her own empty bed, the only thought circulating in her brain is, _Am I to blame for Adora’s pain?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lonnie is a great character but idk if she would purposefully provoke Adora like that. Probably.  
> Am I dragging this? I feel like I'm dragging this, hope you don't mind.  
> An ending is being drafted, stay tuned for more heartache, lol.


	4. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter on Catra finding that Adora hasn't come home...again.

Catra awakens to a cold bed. Not that she really slept, anyway. She kept thinking about the last time Adora left her alone in the middle of the night. In the Horde. To become a princess. A very powerful princess that occasionally scared her (not that she would ever admit it).

Part of Catra wants to lay there. If she doesn’t move, maybe she could pretend last night didn’t happen and get these stupid memories out of her head. And part of her tells her to get away as fast as she can before she gets hurt. _Or, before I hurt other people_ , she reminds herself. She shivers, and not because of the draft that’s blowing in through the broken door frame. Swallowing her insecurities, Catra stretches and decides to search for Adora.

After getting dressed, Catra grabs a couple hard-boiled eggs from the kitchen and stealthily makes her way through Bright Moon. _Maybe she came back last night, but slept somewhere else?_ Catra scoffs at herself. _Hope. There’s a rare feeling._ She scoffs again, but this time to reprimand herself for shutting down positive emotions. Another scoff. _Not reprimand, gently encourage or acknowledge or-_ Ugh, everything about this morning was making her thoughts go haywire and it was not fun. _Just find Adora._

Thanks to the full tour she was given weeks earlier, it wasn’t hard for Catra to navigate the castle halls. She stops by the training room where several guards are sparring. She checks the spare room which, on occasion, was used as a prison. She comes to the meeting room, once famous for war councils when the Horde was a threat. When she was a threat. Now it’s used for the 'Post-Horde Adventures’ meetings run by the Princess Alliance. Catra pushes the door slightly ajar. Queen Glimmer is seated at the head of the table with Bow beside her, the other princesses filling out the rest of the round table.

“Former Horde soldiers appear to have relocated to the Crimson Waste. Huntara is attempting to unite the inhabitants but—” Glimmer stops when she sees Catra standing at the door.

“Wildcat!” Scorpia exclaims. The other princesses instantly turn and acknowledge the lone feline. Murmurs about Adora’s absence follow, which only aggravates Catra further.

“Where is the She-Ra?” Perfuma asks. Catra places her hand on the back of her neck and stares at the ground, defensively swinging her tail.

“Where do you think she is?” she responds, the genuine question taking a more sarcastic tone.

“She didn’t come back last night?” Glimmer questions.

“Obviously. That’s why I asked,” Catra says, her impatience growing. _Deep breaths, Catra._ “Do you know where she could be?”

Glimmer and Bow look at each other, hesitant to speak.

“What?” Catra asks, losing her cool by the second.

“Well,” Bow starts, “Adora can heal herself as She-Ra, so I don’t think she’d be physically hurt. If she hasn’t come home yet, that means…” Bow doesn’t have to finish his sentence for Catra to understand. She inhales sharply and backs away. _Adora doesn’t want to come home._ Catra turns and bolts towards the exit, her thoughts of the future and memories of the past colliding and spiraling in an unwanted frenzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I should mention that I don't have a beta reader? So y'know, feel free to point out grammatical and tense errors.


	5. A Swift Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora cries.

The Whispering Woods is tranquil. Creatures of all shapes and sizes frolic about, grazing, buzzing, enjoying the latest streak of warm, sunny weather. Adora snores lightly, a large rainbow shadow cast around her. She rolls over and finds herself face to face with--

“Swift Wind?!”

“Adora?!”

“Ahhhhh!”

“Ahhhhhh!” Adora grabs the horse’s mouth and clams it shut. “What are you doing out here? How did you find me?!”

“I could ask you the same thing. And uh, sacred bond? Did you forget I can _sense_ you, Adora? Well, not _you_. She-Ra.” He pauses and changes his tone. “I was worried, after last night, so I…I followed you and covered you with my wing when you fell asleep.” He rushes that last sentence out before pulling an apple from a tree. “You wanna talk about it?” he asks, apple crunching in his mouth.

Adora lets out an exasperated groan. She did not want to talk about it, not even a little bit. Even if she did, what would she say? And how, HOW did Swift Wind manage to follow her without being seen? _I’m slipping more than I thought I was…_

“How about a fly around?” she asks. Swift Wind agrees, and it’s not long before the pair are soaring through the air, the sun’s rays heating their backs. From above, Etheria and all of her problems seemed small to Adora. Nothing mattered up here.

“We’re two friends flying through the air,

Without a worry, without a care.

I am Swift Wind, She-Ra’s noble steed,

We fought Horde Prime, we’re free we’re free!

Goodbye Horde Prime, we’re FREE, WE’RE—!”

“Swift Wind. Please.” Adora says softly, her eyes involuntarily watering as she clutches the horse’s colorful mane. Swift Wind lands gently in Bright Moon and Adora slides off, wondering if she should go inside. _There’s no way I can explain what’s going on right now,_ she thinks, and begins to walk back towards the Whispering Woods.

“Are you sure you’re ok, Adora?” Swift Wind asks, stopping the princess in her tracks. “Last night felt…strange.” He shivers, recalling the flood of anger that he shared with She-Ra.

“Also…you should probably change,” he adds. Adora looks down and is surprised by the damage done to her white gown. It was torn in various places had obnoxious dirt stains from where she slept on it. She frantically laughs, realizing how distressed she both looked and felt.

“Ha, haha, HAHAha, Haaah. I’m…I’m good, Swifty. Perfectly fine.” She runs her hands through her hair and attempts to compose herself.

“I just need some time to think.”

“Okay,” the horse responds hesitantly. “Think about what?”

“About nothing.” Adora sighs. This was not at all the future she dreamed. In her head, everything should be perfect. She shouldn’t be thinking about the Horde, or things Shadow Weaver told her. _And I definitely shouldn’t be a ragged mess worrying my friends._ Adora could feel her mental barriers begin to crumble as the idea that maybe things weren’t so good began to ring true in her ears.

“Well, if it _was_ about something—”

“It’s about nothing, Swifty.”

“But how about if it was?”

“Swift Wind,” she says warningly.

“But, hypothetically, if it was—”

“It’s about this!” Adora gives in, partially to shut the horse up, partially because she can’t deal anymore. “It’s about me. About…She-Ra.”

“Oh. Are you doubting your victory against Horde Prime?”

“No, I'm glad Horde Prime is gone.” Adora reflects for a moment. The Horde had always been in her life, literally since the day she came through the portal. Sure, it caused her _some_ grief, but she really was happy they were gone. Still, many of their values were in her head and she could feel it. For instance, everyone believed She-Ra was good but Adora feared this wasn’t true, especially now that she knew what the First Ones’ planned so long ago.

“What’s really bothering you, Adora?” Swift Wind asks, sitting on the grass.

“The First Ones, my ancestors, made She-Ra to be a weapon. They gave her, me, no choice. Mara changed that. She helped create the failsafe, she sacrificed herself for Etheria, she…saved me. Mara was the best version of She-Ra.”

“Mara started the job, but you finished it, Adora. You can’t be someone you’re not, and you’re not Mara. You’re the best, too.”

“But now what? If there is no threat, what purpose do I serve? I am unstoppable. I am the most powerful princess in Etheria. I AM A FIRST ONE.” She pants, her body quivering as she slumps to the ground. Her admission comes in a voice so soft it’s barely audible.

“People should fear me.”

Adora begins to sob uncontrollably. She takes big, heaping gulps of air as a river of tears run down her face. The Horde taught her to never show weakness. To always be prepared for the next battle. That failure wasn’t an option. And here she is, failing to keep herself together, feeling extremely unprepared for whatever is coming next, and showing more weakness than ever since joining the Rebellion.

“Adora?”

It is not Swift Wind that speaks, although the horse is still seated nearby. The voice is soft, confused, and…feminine? _Oh no. No, no, no, no, no,_ Adora thinks, quickly wiping her face and--

“Hey, Adora?”

 _Catra can’t see me like this_.

“I’ve been looking for you. Where—”

“Go away, Catra.” Adora says. She wants to sound strong, but the crack in her voice tells a different story.

Instead of leaving, Catra goes and sits next to her best friend. Adora was brave, confident, and compassionate. Now she needed the comfort she was always so willing to give.

“I’m just going to sit here, ok?” Catra says, hoping Adora wouldn’t push her away. She’s careful not to touch Adora. Not yet, at least. She wraps her tail around Adora as close as she can without making contact.

The sniffling girl realizes what her friend is doing. “Catra,” she pleads.

“It’s ok, Adora. I’m not going anywhere.”

With that, Adora, turns and grabs onto the cat. She weeps into her lap and Catra gently caresses her back. She’s never seen Adora so…sad. Tears flow from Catra’s own eyes. She looks up and silently thanks Swift Wind for bringing Adora home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Sometimes we all need time to cry though. 
> 
> Swift Winds sings to the tune of Sea Hawk's Shanty. :)


	6. I'm Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora talks about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, I don't really like this chapter lol? Hence the long wait. It's fine, I hope you enjoy it!

Adora sits on her firm mattress, Glimmer and Bow beside her. The bedroom door had been repaired and a protective Catra leans against it.

After her much needed crying session, Catra helped Adora back into the castle and cleaned her up. She fed her, got her dressed, and watched her sleep for just a little bit. She made sure no one bothered her until she was ready. Even Bow and Glimmer stayed their distance, giving the girl time and space to heal. Now Adora was ready. She wanted to talk about it. Face it.

“What happened, Adora? At the festival?”

The words hung in the air, filling the room with an unprecedented weight. The question seemed so simple. Just tell them what happened, right? But like most things, it was easier said than done…

Adora was raised in and with hatred. Hatred for the people she now calls friends. When she became She-Ra, she turned that hate into positive energy. Learned to use love as her weapon. But the Horde was gone, and an unbridled hatred and anger boiled within her. Why?

Ok, so maybe she was denied a few things in her childhood; real food, parties, the truth about her ancestry. But it wasn’t all bad in the Horde, was it? The people were ok; she was ready to sacrifice herself for them, whether she realized it or not. Growing up, Adora believed that she was training to serve the greater good. To bring eternal peace. _How could I have been so gullible?_ She rejected her teachings when she joined the Rebellion. Her sole duty? To save everyone from the Horde. Hordak was nothing but a bully who used fear to control his subjects. Then again…

Hordak was denied his right to freedom too, something Adora realized when she met Horde Prime. Did that make him a victim?

Telling herself that Hordak was a victim did nothing to settle the pent-up anger that surfaced when she came face to face with him at the festival. She’d already felt haunted by Shadow Weaver earlier that night. Dancing with Catra was a relief, but it didn’t fix Adora’s issues. On her way to the restroom, Hordak stopped her.

“Adora. I…I acknowledge your success in defeating my brother,” he said, almost apologetically.

“I didn’t do it for you, Hordak.”

“Still, you lived up to the potential Shadow Weaver once bragged about. Well done.”

The sentiment sent Adora’s brain into overdrive. This felt wrong. Shadow Weaver and Hordak taught her to hate, but everything Adora did as She-Ra was fueled by love? When Prime chipped Catra and made her fall off the platform in his throne room, when they were surrounded by clones, when she had to fight her friends, Adora never felt hate. She used love.

But now it all felt tainted. How dare Hordak compare her acts of love to Shadow Weaver’s teachings? They manipulated her relationships. Manipulated her life. Taught her that power was the most important thing. Adora spent so much time trying to prove that she was not what _they_ made her to be. Focused on fixing things while ignoring her hatred. Ignoring how angry she was for being taught to blindly hate the Rebellion. For being used by _everyone_.

Adora couldn’t ignore Hordak’s shoddy compliment. Her emotional fuse had been lit. She loathed Hordak. _“Is this not what you’ve wanted since_ _you were old enough to want anything?” Shadow Weaver asked her._ Adora was seething, and nothing could distract her from her anger. She had to get away. While running towards the nearest exit, she heard,

“Seriously, Adora? It’s not like you to run from a party. Then again _, there isn’t anyone here for you to fight”_. Lonnie’s words reverberated in her ears as she exploded.

“Is this what you want, cadet?” Adora yelled. With great force, she pushed Lonnie to the floor and pinned her down with…

With the Sword of Protection.

The First Ones made She-Ra to be a weapon. And at the Fright Zone Festival, Adora was using her as such. No matter what she did, Adora felt trapped in an unbreakable, manipulative cycle of hate.

“What happened, Adora? At the festival?” Bow’s question was simple, but certainly not easy to answer.

“I saw Hordak.” she answers. “I saw Hordak, and he told me I lived up to Shadow Weaver’s expectations for greatness.”

A gasp escapes Glimmer and Bow’s mouths accompanied by a scowl from Catra. How else can one respond to the ‘your success was foreshadowed by an abusive mother figure’ statement? Adora continues.

“I panicked. I felt like a Force Captain, taking orders and praise from Hordak and Shadow Weaver. And I was so angry. My whole body went hot and then Lonnie said there was no one left for me to fight, except there is and it’s me and I have to fix everything! There’s so much left to—” Adora begins pacing the room.

“It’s ok, Adora.” Bow says, trying to help.

“Yeah,” Glimmer chimes in. “It’s ok to be angry."

“It’s not ok! I was _She-Ra_ when I attacked Lonnie,” Adora says. “I, She-Ra can’t feel anger or hate. People will fear me. I fear me.”

“The people of Etheria don’t fear you, Adora.”

“Ex-Horde soldiers are people too, Glimmer.” Adora plainly states. “I abandoned them, I fought them, and they don’t trust me. Maybe I’m not so different from Shadow Weaver.”

“Adora, STOP.” Catra says, still standing against the door. This was agonizing. Talking to Adora felt too much like talking to herself. “Are you hearing yourself? Shadow Weaver manipulated us. Lied to us. Taught us that power and control was the only way to feel safe and secure. She was wrong, Adora.” Catra looks away. “We are so much more than what the Horde made us,” she says quietly.

Adora stops pacing and stares at the cat girl. “How did you…how can you be so sure?”

Catra inhales and saunters over to the waterfall. She stares at herself for a moment. 

“I know I’m not her because _you_ taught me something different. You…and everyone else in the rebellion. Love and hate may be equally strong to feel, but one is certainly more powerful. More liberating. More…clear.” Catra meets Adora’s eyes, both wide with emotion. "I guess...It's ok to be angry, but it's not ok to take it out on other people, or whatever."

Bow and Glimmer smile at each other. The magicat had grown so much. 

“Exactly. Adora, we’ve seen you be better than Shadow Weaver,” Bow says. “Remember when you first realized the Horde was wrong? You chose good. You made a sacrifice, not for power or fame. You did it because people needed help and it was the right thing to do.”

“Yeah. Shadow Weaver never chose friendship. Or love.” Glimmer adds, grabbing Bow’s hand.

“So, you’re not afraid of She-Ra?”

“Oh, Adora.” Catra shakes her head and steps closer to the group. Her fear of She-Ra was not a conversation to be had right now. “We don’t fear _you_.”

“Are you powerful?” Bow asks. “Yes. Could you wipe us all out with a single stroke? Probably!”

“Bow, you’re not helping.” Glimmer says, tapping his arm.

“Buuut, we know you won’t do that. You’re not our friend because we’re scared of your power.”

“You’re our friend because we trust you and we want you in our lives.” Glimmer says. “Just because you’re She-Ra doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Or that you can’t feel angry or hurt. We all make mistakes; I’m proof of that.”

“Me too, Sparkles.” Catra mumbles to herself.

“You don’t have to be in control all the time. You can rely on us, whenever you want and need.” Bow finishes.

Adora holds her arm and shifts her weight onto one foot. Her friends weren’t wrong. They trusted her. Maybe she could learn to trust herself every once in a while. Let herself feel the emotions she repressed while trying to be the best She-Ra. Maybe she could learn to forgive herself. Forgive…the Horde.

“Best Friend Squad?” Bow asks, opening his arms for a group hug.

Adora cracks a smile. Things weren’t perfect, but it was better than before. At least her anger didn’t feel like a weakness anymore. It would be grueling work, but with her friends beside her, Adora could face her insecurities.

“Best Friend Squad,” she says.

The rest of the night went smoothly, the four friends playing games and talking about future plans. Love filled the room like a vast ocean, spreading to every corner, nook, and cranny. Adora was quieter than usual, which was expected. She knew she would have to face ex-Horde members again. Her friendships were a priority and even though it was for good reason, she never apologized for leaving them. After bidding Glimmer and Bow good night, she and Catra began getting themselves ready for bed.

“I should probably schedule some Zen meditation with Perfuma, huh?” Adora says with a small chuckle.

Catra smirks. She picks up the remnants of the night and tosses a few pillows off the bed.

“Hey, Catra?"

"Princess?"

"Thank you.”

“Anytime. I’m just glad you’re ok.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” And this time, Adora actually meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an alternate ending for this (which would've led to a chapter 7//Adora and Catra talk about their feelings) but I may just turn it into a separate work? Thoughts???
> 
> Thanks for reading my first fic btw! Leave some feedback on things I can improve on going forward. :)


End file.
